The first bottom is when situations in life are a disaster and it is about the situation or the event. Life is just erratic and unmanageable. How did I get here? How did this happen? Why me? Let me fix it. (No transformation here) 

The second bottom is when it is about other people. This relationship is failing, this workplace is toxic, that manager is a narcissist etc. I need to get out and find a new relationship or a new work environment (which could be quite true).
(A significant change might happen and no transformation here) 

The third bottom is when you realize it is about you. It is your conscious and unconscious patterns that are set in motion again and again.  And no matter the scenery (the relationship, the situation, the environment – it’s going to be the same because the ego is up to its same tricks, some known – some becoming more clear).

This is the bottom where transformation can truly begin and alchemy spreads its wings in both messy and timely ways. It takes a humbling amount of crisis’, triggers, slips, and dysfunction – for the unconscious to become conscious…and the child within to be seen. And, thank God for without those moments of “madness” we wouldn’t be whole – we would just settle for “put together”, “successful” and worst of all “perfect”.  We get a glimpse of what requires our attention and can choose to put it back in its box or venture the courage to integrate. 

Until… there is more love than shame. With greater love we might even say: “It couldn’t have turned out any other way – this pattern was waiting for me…for generations.” 

What  is your place of acceptance?